=) Tomorrow is cross-country. Oh no. But never mind, it will help to lose some weight gained from those chocolates I ate today...And then when tomorrow is over, it will be the class reunion dinner! Yay! The pace you were running at So fast I couldn't catch up The perspiration trickling down The determination in you All you could see was your goal Ahead of you You couldn't look back All you could see was winning The trophy You couldn't see my love You have crossed the finishing line But you didn't take my heart thus far You left it behind And it was stepped on Into broken pieces ************************************************************ I think dieters tend to become sinful when the New Year draws near. I mean, who can resist all the goodies in front of them? Especially those with a sweet tooth. Aka, me. And then, after New Year, probably in their resolutions is "lose the weight I gained during Chinese New Year" and also "Save up my hongbao money". Both of them are redundant. For one thing, V-day is so near CNY this year, that most probably you will be using the money from your red packets collection on presents. Aka, me. So you end up not only not saving up, but probably digging from your own pockets on presents too. Secondly, you will definitely lose the will to lose weight sooner or later, so its rather useless for that resolution. You only write it down to make yourself happier. I remember setting New Year resolutions a month ago, but apparently, I did not fulfil them at all. You just feel so bored, and because it takes such a long time for dieting to take effect, people give up in the middle thinking its useless and if you are happy, you are healthy. DUH, its wrong. All these broken promises. I think it’s rather typical of me to break promises. Like, I will say I will keep it a secret, and somehow I blurt it out. But don't worry; usually when I say things accidentally, they are usually the less serious ones. So you can still count on me =) Is it in human nature or what? People always tend to procrastinate what they were supposed to do, and then they say they forget in the end. Is it really true? Are we supposed to believe them? But if we don't believe them, they say they have no trust, and then they stop being friends with us. But really, they are the guilty party, but they manage to shift the blame to us and in the end we are the ones left feeling guilty. But if we do believe them, we will be led into this cycle of belief and then they will start doing nothing and we end up doing everything for them. Isn't it unfair? Well, life's always unfair. And there's nothing we can do about it. But if I break a promise, does it mean I have really changed? Does my personality change? I do not want to appear in front of you as someone who is different. I still want us to be friends, and i want to appear the same, so that the feeling doesn't go away. Ok, what am I talking about? CNY is here, I should be happier! What do you do when you feel sad? Most people tend to go to sleep, so that they can sleep their worries off. But when I sleep, my thoughts tend to RUN wild. And then most probably I will start crying and have a nightmare or something. Or do you like to listen to your favourite album and then sing along with it? I think this works quite well. Songs cheer me up. What other ways do you have? Do you message someone? I don't really have someone I sms a lot anymore. Sometimes SL sms me, but I always lazy to reply or something. Or maybe HH will send something, but I will get bored halfway through and stop replying him. And I still do not like talking on the phone. i find it so awkward. its like, the person might be saying something, but who knows, on the other side of the phone he might be smirking at you. My longest record was no more than 1 hour I think, and it was like full of pauses and silences. Maybe blogging helps. When i blog, I will write really sarcastically if I'm sad, and maybe it helps to vent my anger. Somehow, your blog is a friend you talk to through typing, unlike a real friend. A blog is sort of psychological, in a sense you feel accomplished when you have just blogged something REALLY long and you read it and people tag and say you have a nice blog and stuff. It gives you a sense of achievement yea.. After reading all this, do you think I'm feeling sad or happy? Actually, I'm feeling quite happy. So you are wrong if you thought I was feeling sad!! Haha, I am quite a balanced person, so it means 50% of my time is dedicated to poring over woes and problems, while the other 50% is dedicated to laughing and stuff like that. I have nothing else to blog now. So, see ya again if I don't die from running tomorrow...(: That day, You promised to wait. So why didn't you? Your broken promises, Your lies. You left me behind.. In doubt. I was waiting, I was standing there, Alone. Like a blank piece of paper. In the confusion I saw.. Your back.. I called out to you.. I chased after you.. But you are running faster and faster... You didn't say anything. You just ignored me, In a blink, You have gone, And I can only turn back, Like we never met, Before. Have you forgotten the days Our memories The pleasant times we had Or the hugs and kisses We shared The day I left You said You would wait Because I was worth it And I was worth everything But now Your words have become history History you have forgotten Thrown into the bin Treated always as rubbish So long after, Our visions met, You didn't say a thing, You didn't care. I can only smile And wave hello And then pretend To walk on Like nothing ever happened But do you know the damage You have done That day you broke The promise. I will never heal But for now I can only let go.. One day you might come back And plead for my love But no I will not return into your embrace For what you have let go Shall never be yours Ever again I never did leave you You were the one Who left me Broken Amidst your lies The promises you never kept ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I heard, you said. I remembered, you forgot. I asked, you dismissed it. I wondered, you ignored. Why did it happen, why did u promise, When u know its gonna be broken. Broken, not only the words, But the trust. My heart. It was shattered. The day u broke your promise, but I didn’t.. You forgot, I remembered. Do they mean anything to you? Do you care even the least? Do you only say it to please me? Or just to see the split second of happiness on my face? But did you know. Your unfulfilled words caused something deeper What do the split second of happiness mean? When it caused life-long hurt Just cos you broke… You broke your promise To me… Still remember the day Still remember the exact words “I will remember” “I bet you wont” “I will, trust me” And so I trusted. But you lied. I believed so, I believe it will happen But it didn’t, and it never will Why did you break your promise? Why did u leave me waiting? And no. I decided not to care. I decided to leave everything behind I decided to move on. ‘What ‘s the use?” You wont even know im hurting over here. You wont know anything, you know nothing. Just hope there wont be any more me Just hope there wont be any more broken promises I never knew it would hurt so much. “It’s just a promise!” Shut up, you know nothing.

2/10/2005 09:41:00 pm;